Mother's Day Gifts

Today when I picked my kids up from Mother's Day Out, they both had little paper bags full of tissue paper...Mother's Day Gifts. Emma was busting at the seems wanting to open it but I told her we had to wait until Sunday. As I drove home I got to thinking about what was in those little bags...I've never been one for suprises. When Brad asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day I told him I wanted a Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer and he said NO, that it had to be jewelry or something along those lines. I thought about it and I realized I am more excited to get what is in those little bags then what material thing I will get from Brad..Not that I won't like what Brad gets me. I'm sure I'll LOVE it and it will be very nice (but I also bet it won't mix things) but at some point and time I became UNmaterialistic. WHOAH! When did that happen. I've gone from vain and materialistic to sentimental. I REQUESTED A MIXER for Mother's Day. Something that I will use when COOKING probably for my kids and husband, but that's what I really want and 6 years ago I would've wanted JEWELRY and the biggest and most expensive and now I want a mixer and what is in those little bags. I can't wait to see it. I know I'll love it forever and probably keep it forever. So I guess it's okay to be sentimental and NOT materialistic.

I'm trying to be a better person...

Every day I strive to be a better person. I used to not care very much about being better. But, then you have kids and you realize what a special gift you have and you realize that maybe you shouldn't be such a crappy person. I try to emulate Jesus...which is what each and every one of us is called to do, but MAN it's really hard. I love the Lord, I love my family, I love my friends, but...you're suppossed to love EVERYONE..even your enemies--YUCK. Who wants to do that. I don't really have enemies but I have people I don't really LIKE. Emulating Jesus is a lot harder than it sounds--b/c he was really good. Like Good enough to be the SON OF GOD GOOD. And I'm not. I try, but I like to gossip and I get mad sometimes and I am greedy..I like money...well not so much money..but the things money buys. So it's really hard but I guess the key is just keep trying. Go to church. Love and respect as many people as you possibly can. Try to do GOOD things. Try not to gossip. Give to charity. Give all that you can to God and hope to do better each day and maybe just maybe if I do all of that I'll make it to heaven and hopefully I'll see you there..I hope But on a lighter note..today's my Tyler's 2nd Birthday and I am putting on my happy face and baking a cake even though secretly I know it just means he's one more year closer to telling me to "shut-up and go away" which I frequently told my mother. But, today I do thank God that 2 years ago on this day at 8 am we were blessed w/ this wonderful little man who I JUST LOVE so much. He's great, WONDERFUL! WONDERFUL! WONDERFUL! I love him and I thank GOD for him so much. I cannot put in to words

Why birthday's are sad for me.

Tomorrow is my baby's birthday!! My BABY will be 2. I guess he's not really a baby anymore, but to me he still is and so is Emma. I don't know why but for some reason my kids birthday's are always a little bittersweet. I love that they are growing up and that they are happy and healthy but I still look back on them being born and being babies and I miss those moments. It's not that I wish for them NOT to grow up, it's just that I wish I could still hold them right when they were first born and smell their little heads and hold their little hands and dream of how wonderful their lives are going to be. I wish I could do that everyday and in a way I do. When they are sleeping or watching t.v. or listening to me read a book. I just take a deep breath and breathe their smell in and squeeze them close to me and remember that I am their mom and that no matter how old they get they will always need me and love me and that I just have to try to be the best mom I can be and raise them the best I can and give them all the love I have and maybe one day they will do the same for their children. Being a mom is the most wonderful feeling in the world, but it is also heartbreaking. To know that one day someone will hurt them, something will make them sad, something will break their heart, is just so awful and I know it's part of life, but it's the part where I go back and wish they were babies b/c then I could shield them from pain and heartbreak and disappointment. I love them so much, I just NEVER want them to hurt and when you grow up, you hurt eventually and that's why birthday's are bittersweet for me...that little part of me never wants them to grow up so they NEVER have to hurt...but I guess that is just inevitable.

I'm back

I'm BACK!!! I woke up thinking about this blog this morning and how first I needed to write some more and second about how much easier it is for me to write things than to say them. Originally I said I was going to use this to talk about the things my kids say and do, but in addition to that I'm just gonna use it to take note of some of the things going on in our family and just to jot down my thoughts b/c like I said for some reason it is easier for me to write...So I woke up w/ a lot of worries in my heart. Mainly about money. Brad and I both love that I am able to stay at home w/ the kids and we both know it is not something we want to give up anytime soon. But with the direction things are heading w/ our government it is hard NOT to fear what will happen when we have a new president. Right now Brad makes good money, but what will happen when and if a new president takes over and brings all the troops home and starts w/ all of this biofuel?? I am not sure. Our whole lives, our families depend on the oil field. Brad's dad, my dad, and BRAD!! It is just really scary to think about for me. I guess I am just looking for something to worry about, but you have to admit that it's a pretty serious thing to worry about!?!?!?! It would be a BIG change in our lives if I ever had to go back to work, so I will just hope and pray that the oil field continues to thrive :)

On another note, the kids are doing great. Summer is fast approaching and they will be busy bees! We are gonna skip Mother's Day Out this summer. They are both going to take swim lessons. They are going to do soccer camp, kindermusik, Emma is doing cheerleading, dance camp and Vacation Bible School. I am not sure what we will do for fall. The Catholic preschool here goes 5 DAYS A WEEK, all day and I am NOT ready for that. So hopefully Friday when Brad is off we are going to tour some preschool's and check it out! Tyler's bday is Wednesday. It's VERY bittersweet for me. He will be 2. I won't have a baby anymore. But we are so proud of him. He is such a little man. He climbs and jumps and is just SO coordinated. He is talking in sentences and his vocabulary is getting bigger each day. So he is advanced for his age from what I have read about where he "should" be. I guess that's all!!